It's Christmas! =)

I grew up not having a happy Christmas. Somethings always came up during Noche Buena that made my past Christmases sad.

Last night as my family returned from a 2-day trip in Zamboanga, I thought it wouldn't again be a happy Christmas for me. But God is good and I'm thankful.

This I can say was one of the happiest I had personally and with my family.
It was a Christmas I was blessed to have spent with a family now stable with everything we need in life... happy sisters I can talk to like old people.. a brother, cousins and friends.

There's Paoi and his family I treasure the most.

I had little things to give to my little ones (my inaanaks)... and for the most important people in my life.

Yes, this Christmas it was happy. =)

I couldn't be more thankful.

A blessed Christmas to everyone.

Friends and Christmas

Since I graduated from college in 2004-- it's the second year my college barkada won't be having a happy Christmas get together.

Maybe it's the distance and the time that has really set us all apart. Or maybe we're all just busy.

Christmas 2005 was the best get together we had we were almost complete (almost)... we only had coffee in Starbucks before the New Year.

But now, it seemed harder to get us all together.

Nonetheless I attempted to set up a coffee date get together on the 28th- in the hope of rekindling old friendships I hold dear in my heart.

Oh it's probably just the feel of Christmas that's making me sentimental.

But really, everyday, I miss all seven of them.

Pictures from that Makati Standoff

Ratings, eh?

I couldn't take it watching TV Patrol today.

I mean, why did they have to report about themselves? Like how the government (as they said) were apologetic for saying they will investigate some media entities with regards to the Manila pen Siege? Or how they defended themselves when they decided not to pull out from the site?

From someone who was there and saw it happen, here are my two-cents worth views.

"The Scoop"

And so they got all the exclusive shots from inside when the thing was happening. But the question is- was that a wise decision to stay when authorities have instructed the media to leave?

I am guilty of not following Gen. Barias the first time he asked us to leave before the 3pm deadline. When he told me to leave, I went up with my crew and went where most of the media were. I was as I remember, one of those who cheered when he was pushed outside by the Magdalo.

But I was thankful my network had this management call to ask us to leave the hotel before the assault. That's the wisest management decision for me.

Never mind not having all the exclusive videos- at least we can be proud of two things:
*Management cares for their people than the story or the scoop
*We follow instructions.

As they say, no story is worth dying for. Like Kuya Jun R said-- Wala ng sumusweldong bayani ngayon.

I mean, we are media people. We are not heroes. We deliver the news-- we are NOT the news. We should be first to follow instructions-- not first to violate them.

And so when our lives are put in danger, let us not blame other people. Let us not overreact and rant about how government is unfair towards us.

We were all told to leave. At least our desk officers, our bosses were told to leave before that assault deadline-- WHY DID THERE HAVE TO BE A CHOICE, mister?

I understand the desire for a scoop-- and how the people deserve to know what's happening. But I guess not at the expense of saving lives. Or at least, not at the expense of blaming it all on government.

Was it just about the ratings now?

If so, I so hate this job.

How I felt while I covered the Siege

My favorite subject was History and my favorite topic was the world war.

The Manila Pen siege was my first and actual shot at a near-war experience.

There were actual gunshots, tanks and military operation.

Many said this may be considered a big break for anybody’s career.

Being there, witnessing it first hand and being able to bring that news to everyone was really something.

But for me, this coverage meant so much more than just news and big breaks.

To me, it was about life and death.

Life

While I was inside the Manila Pen and didn’t know clearly when I could get out- many things came to mind.

Simple things like, will I get out in time to meet Paolo that night? Or will I even get my nails done tomorrow?

I imagined, what could my parents be thinking right now? Is mommy already sorry that she sent me to school to take up journalism?

All the time I was inside (this was before the 3pm deadline and the assault), I knew my adrenalin was high. If I worried about Paolo and my family I knew I was only overreacting. I had hope I would get out if not that night—at least I would still get out.

I didn’t think the police was serious when they made the 3pm deadline. I mean, this wasn’t the first time this happened. I never imagined they would attack since media was inside.

And then there were friends who sent text messages while I was inside the hotel. Marlon, Blaise, Nice, Dom… there were many who asked if I was okay and that they saw me inside the hotel.

I thanked God I had friends who thought about me and were concerned how I was.

But as I overheard the Magdalo soldiers say people will only be allowed to leave every thirty minutes- I knew I had to let go of my optimism this would end as I hoped it would.

While I pleaded with the Magdalo soldier to let me out, I imagined more serious things like, I don’t want to be held hostage inside this hotel and be the news.

I imagined, I didn’t want to be here.

I wanted to go out and be safe and come home to my family and to Paolo.

I was scared when I was told I couldn’t get out… I hated my job for one second and thought I wasn’t obligated to be here.

Thanks to the two hotel staff who knew of another way out.

Death

If there was one thing I am thankful to my bosses at GMA for, it was their decision to get out of the hotel before the military began the assault.

Yes, journalism and bringing the news mattered—but thanks to them they believed our lives mattered more.

While I ran for my life out of the hotel I admittedly was scared like no other.

If you were running against gunshots and you see tanks and tons of soldiers everywhere—will you not feel scared?

I thought if I died today while I did this job, I could never forgive myself for being here.

I didn’t think about looking so dirty that time, running barefoot on a wet street—I just wanted to run away and far from that place and be safe.

I was thinking about Paolo and all our dreams together…

and how I wanted to embrace him after all this is done.

But I was also scared—will I ever see the end of this? I prayed to God I would. I wanted so badly to be okay.

I saw faces of employees running, hotel guests (mostly foreigners) taking their luggages with them as they ran…

There was fear and uncertainty all around. I thought—how could one person be so irresponsible and think only about himself?

How could one person be so irresponsible and start all this mess?

Then there acts of kindness—

Tina who held my hand and helped me run.

The soldier who lifted me up when I fell.

TJ and Ma’am Kelly bringing us food.

My assistant Kuya Winston not leaving me behind.

Jun Veneracion waiting for me at the end of the road.

My bestfriend Anafe who kept on calling me and even when I already told her I was safe, still insisted I was inside the hotel.

When I was finally settled and heard the gunshots from the other side of the road, I called Paolo and told him my ordeal.

Hearing his voice on the other end of the line was such relief.

I thanked God was safe and alive.

I knew I’d see Paolo and embrace him again.

My Eyewitness Account of the Manila Pen Siege

6am

I woke up late. This was going to be a usual day at work.

Kuya Winston texted me we are to cover an 8am partylist forum in UP then proceed to CAMANAVA to check on the flood situation there.

So I brought slippers, an extra shirt and my umbrella.

It was raining that day.

640am

While I was on my way to the office I realized I forgot my two celphones at home. I decided I’d just get them back when we leave for our coverage.

7am

We started traveling to UP, when our desk Kuya Natzi told us we were diverted to Makati to cover the Magdalo hearing.

For some reason that day, everywhere was traffic.

850am

Just arrived at the Makati RTC Branch 148 for the Magdalo hearing.

As soon as I arrived, I entered the courtroom.

I remember seeing too many soldiers inside and outside the courtroom.

When I saw Trillanes, I was excited. I voted for him in the last elections and this was the first time I saw him.

Then there were the familiar defense lawyers who also attended the court martial hearings for those detained for the Marine Standoff last year.

I saw Brig. Gen. Danilo Lim coming in; one Magdalo soldier- Sanggalang was his last name said Lim was the witness for today for the first time.

Then there was former Vice President Teofisto Guingona, Bishop Tobias.

10am

The hearing began. Lim testified. There were too many people then so everyone else in the room was standing.

I stood next to Captain Faeldon inside the courtroom.

11am

The court went into recess.

We went out, I was with Ces Drilon’s Segment Producer, Ellen Tordesillas and other media.

The Magdalo soldier named Layug asked for a cup of water for Lim.

1110am

Court resumed.

I was then talking to Ate Ellen who was holding the Magdalo soldiers’ Pulutan cookbook.

Mrs. Querubin, wife of Colonel Ariel Querubin who led the Marine standoff last year said Sen. Trillanes was going to make a statement.

But Trillanes said he was going to make the statement later.

1112am

I saw Sen. Trillanes stood up. And so did the other Magdalo soldiers.

They pushed everyone else in the courtroom, I was pushed and I shouted “anong nangyayari”

Sen. Trillanes said, “walang gagalaw”.

He was taking Gen. Lim outside of the courtroom and the Magdalo detainees gave way.

I made my way out of the courtroom- one Magdalo said I could not pass, I said “media ako,” and so he let me.

Then the struggle began. I looked for my assistant cameraman and asked for the mic, I made my way near Trillanes and asked over and over again what was he doing.

He was bringing a detainee (Lim) out of the court.

He did not answer.

Then he shouted to the security detail who were guarding them “Di tayo magkalaban”

Nobody stopped them. We struggled at the elevator. Trillanes and Lim were pushed inside by the mob. Some Magdalo soldiers managed to get in as well, including Layug.

I got hold of my celphone and called my boss, Ma’am Tex. I told her, “Ma’am si Trillanes dinala si Lim, dinala si Lim.”

She called me back and was asked what was going on—I said, “Dinala si Lim bababa na ng city hall.”

I fell as we were pushing, just in front of the elevator door that was about to close anytime. A Magdalo soldier helped me stand up and pushed me inside the elevator with Trillanes and the others.

And the elevator closed.

I was inside asking Trillanes what he had in mind, he would not answer.

At that time I thought, this is a big story.

The Walkout and the Manila Pen Siege

We got to the lobby of the Makati City Hall, I started recording the events on my celphone. My crew took the stairs to go down.

I was still asking Trillanes what he wanted to do, what he was doing and why was he doing all this—he said he will make a statement in Makati he would not say where.

Then he asked the guards to close the door, and they (Magdalo soldier detainees) were complete, they went out of the City Hall and started to march.

We followed them everywhere they went.

We also walked not minding the rain.

I was taking videos since the office was recording it thru 3G.

Then I called Arnold Clavio who was then on board DZBB. I informed him about the events.

Later, I was reporting over the radio. As my colleague, Tina arrived and did the report for TV.

We marched until we turned left on one street—then Trillanes went up to enter a building.

I asked a woman beside me, “Anong building to?” She said, “Manila Pen.” I asked, “Hotel ‘to diba?” She said yes.

I thought to myself—was this another Oakwood?

Soon as we got in the hotel, Trillanes snubbed the security officer who was asking him to stay in one side of the hotel so guests will not be scared.

But the senator pushed him aside.

Then they went up the stairs and there was Lim reading a prepared statement.

The adrenalin was high I didn’t think of texting or calling Pao or my parents yet.

Until Trillanes and his group locked themselves up in the Nolledo room and we the media were set aside.

I looked for my phone and realized I had to text Paolo and my parents. But my phone was nowhere to be found.

Luckily, I found it under one of the tables—may gasgas na but at least I didn’t lost it.

While I walked inside the hotel and saw the Magdalo soldiers spread out in every floor—I realized this was another Oakwood.

And I was worried for myself. I thought, if this were not work—I’d get myself the hell out of this place.

At that time, I thought—I’d better be watching this on TV than be here myself. I was I guess, a bit scared as well.

As the tension inside subsided, and I saw common faces of colleagues inside- I started to calm down.

We didn’t notice the time, we didn’t even realize we haven’t taken any food until Tina asked if we had eaten.

My mom who I forgot to text, forwarded to me a message from her friend who told her I was on TV covering Trillanes.

My mom asked where I was, and that was the time I told her I was inside Manila Pen. She asked if I was okay, I told her yes. And she told me to take care and text my dad.

My boyfriend Paolo, who I texted earlier than my Mom knew I was here since I informed him early that day I was covering the hearing. And because he was a reporter himself, he knew this was work, he just asked me to take care.

My dad who always wanted me to be safe was asking me to leave this job to the guy reporters. I wish that was just that easy to do.

Allan, our systems engineer came up to me as we witnessed time pass inside he hotel- to teach him how to use the 3G.

I saw guests leaving, Bishops coming in, Gen. Barias being pushed away- the media cheering when he was sent out.

3PM

The deadline set for the Magdalo to surrender or else the authorities will use force.

Paolo texted me the military will get in the hotel and if there was an assault, I should take cover. He said if I could get out, I should get out.

I still thought that wasn’t serious.

4PM

Jena, the desk called me and was asking us to leave. She instructed me to find Jun Veneracion and stay with him. She said I must make sure my crew would also get out of the hotel with me. Jena said, “hindi mo ibababa ang phone hangga’t di ka nakakalabas ng hotel.”

I knew the other reporters didn’t want to get out.

I also didn’t want to get out.

Until I overheard one Magdalo saying, “every 30 minutes lang ang labas ng tao, tigsa-sampu lang.”

I told Jena I couldn’t find my crew, so they all called all of us. I told her the Magdalo wouldn’t let us out.

Jena said we should get out. I asked, “ano bang nakikita nyo jan?” She said, “nakaporma na sila, papasok na sila anytime.”

At that time I knew I was scared.

When Tina, Jun and I were altogether I told Jun they (the Magdalo) wouldn’t let us get out.

So Tina and I pleaded with the Magdalo to let us out. But they wouldn’t.

Luckily we saw two hotel staff making their way out in one side of the hotel—there was a door leading to the parking area and there was a way out. We ran towards that direction.

I was wearing high-heels then and when Tina saw I couldn’t run, she held my hand and was helping me run away.

When we got out of the hotel—I saw soldiers. Lots of soldiers armed. I saw a tank.

I was scared. I heard shots.

I thought I couldn’t run anymore, I was catching my breath. I decided to let go of my sandals and I ran barefooted.

I ran like I never ran before. I was running for my life.

When I was settled and was with the other media, I called Paolo and told him how scared I was and how I wanted him so much to be there with me.

Really, I was so scared I wanted to leave and just go home.

Minutes later Tina texted and asked me if we were okay, we (Tina and I) went to different directions soon as we got out of the hotel. I told her we were fine and asked if Ate Susan (Enriquez) also managed to get out. She said yes.

I was glad we were all safe.

Then fires were again shot. This time, sunud-sunod na.

I heard Lito Laparan reporting they were being tear gassed. I heard Allan’s voice. He was left inside and so were the other people from our Van.

I felt lucky I wasn’t inside. But I also felt bad for those who were left behind.

5PM

Tj and Ma’am Kelly met us along Paseo de Roxas and handed us our late lunch.

Two pieces Jollibee Chickenjoy.

Over the radio when we heard the group was to surrender, we decided to get near the hotel and position ourselves again.

Jun and I separated ways.

I returned to Makati Avenue where Trillanes earlier entered.

There I saw Ate Sandra (Aguinaldo) and her crew. She was to cover Lim, I was to follow the other Magdalo soldiers.

We agreed to separate, I covered from the Makati Ave side, and she proceeded to the front.

We texted each other soon as the buses that will take the soldiers arrived.

6 PM

We (my crew and I) positioned ourselves at the other side. We heard Trillanes et. Al were to be brought to Camp bagong Diwa. So we settled and took a rest and waited for 24 oras over the radio.

Much to my surprise when 24 oras began, Ate Sandra was inside the bus we agreed we’d follow. Allan was also inside and was even handcuffed. They were part of the media who were also arrested.

Ate Sandra still texted me while she was inside the bus and was telling me where they were. I told her we went ahead to Camp Bagong Diwa.

8PM

My mom texted me to know where I was and told her I was proceeding to Camp Bagong Diwa. She immediately asked if I was also arrested, I told her no.

Then there was the curfew, and I started to call my brother and my cousins.

When I got to Camp Bagong Diwa, Jay Taruc, JP Soriano and Marisol Abdurahman were there.

Desk called to say I can go home.

10 PM

I got back at the office at past 10 and managed to leave at past 11.

I, who braved thru one hell of a coverage that day was still running for time as I went home—since I didn’t want to be arrested because of a sudden curfew.