Getting Old

In just a few days, this year will come to an end- and another year will begin.
Lately, the New Year celebrations have scared me. For another year would mean-getting older.

I thought I'd never have problems about getting old, but lately I've been concerned about it.
Maybe because there are many things I can no longer do and things I have to do that comes with my age.

Here are a few of these things.

Things I can no longer do.
1. Playing Barbie dolls. (I'd look weird if I still played them till now.I had more than a dozen when I was young)
2. Writing Santa Claus. (Besides, I know the truth already.)
3. Talking to myself. (At least while I play, I grew up being the only girl at home. I only had my brother and guy cousins to play with so when they're busy playing on their own- I had myself to talk to.
4. Sleeping beside Mommy. (Aww.. I miss this)
5. Eating a lot without worrying about getting fat.
6. Asking my Mommy to buy me clothes, shoes, things I need without having to be ashamed about it. (although I still get to ask her to do this for me- only that now it takes a lot of guts)



Things I have to do.
1. Go to work.
2. Save for my future.(Good luck to me)
3. Pay my tax. Pay my bills. (As for the bills part- I haven't been doing this lately)
4. Keep my figure.(Still haven't started)
5. Know things. (I work in the media, I should always be aware)
6. Deal with different kinds of people. (This is hard and I have problems with this)
7. Keep my patience.
8. Care about a lot of other things, like my sisters, my family, and other people.
9. Be a role model to my siblings. (I know I haven't been one lately)
10. Obey laws.

I often wished I could go back to being 7 years old- those days when the only things I had to worry about were going to school, getting passing marks and nothing more. Food was served, I didn't have to worry about buying my own... basic necessities such as electricity, water, telephone and other things are not my concern.

I wished I could be young and have excuses for not liking people, snubbing them when I want to and still be understood for my impatience because I am young and I am not aware of what I am doing.

I wished I could be young and not be forced to understand people I don't really like. Or work with people who hurt my feelings. Or be hurt and not mind being talked about behind my back.

There's something about getting old that really pisses me off- maybe it's the sad fact that when people get old, you'd have to care about a lot of things- and eventually, care about other people. Even those I don't like. I mean sometimes we are forced to like people we don't like- because we need to co-exist.

I hate that. Sometimes when I try to be myself and maintain my indifferent character- they talk about me. I really don't care- but sometimes when I get hurt, I do.

I think there are a lot of things I still need to learn- well, I'm not yet that old.

I still have another year to get used to all this- and maybe, when another year begins- I'll be less scared about getting old.