Why be A Journalist?

"I am not afraid to speak of journalism as a moral calling—as a vocation, in the priestly sense of the word—because I am not afraid to hold myself to a moral standard… There is an old saying that anyone who’s not a socialist at twenty has no heart and anyone who’s not a capitalist at forty has no brain. Along the same lines, anyone who doesn’t enter journalism believing it is a moral enterprise might as well move straight on to speculating in foreign currency or manufacturing Agent Orange. There will be disappointments enough over the course of your career; your initial idealism must be a pilot light, flickering at times, but never extinguished.”
{“Letters to a Young Journalist,” Samuel Freedman, a columnist of the New York Times and a professor at Columbia University’s School of Journalism}


Being a journalist was a dream I formed in my mind as early as 5th Grade. Our english teacher then asked us, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I raised my hand and answered, "I want to be a journalist."

Since then, I never lost that dream again. I saved it in the pockets of my heart, kept it alive there while I offered silent prayers at night that someday, the heavens would give me the chance to fulfill it.

There was no denying that I was not tailor-fit for this job. I grew up singing, not writing. There were days when I was young that I hated the fact that 6pm Newscasts had to take away child-friendly and more entertaining programs for me. My Lolo nevertheless always called me to watch the news with him, and I always watched against my will.

I wanted to become a journalist, but I was not attracted to doing the job back then.

My dream began when shows like "The Probe Team" and "The Inside Story" drove me crazy at night... I was curious, I wanted to be there, I wanted to be like them. And then I hoped that would eventually come true.

***
Imagine my thrill when I passed the course AB Journalism when I entered College. I thought to myself- this was the first step at getting my dream. I was determined to make good in my studies, but I was nevertheless unsure if I would make it.

You see I thought, getting there and making it happen is another thing. I can always dream and hope and pray- but it would take some luck and I guess faith and confidence to realize it.

After graduation I was determined to make my dreams come true. I braved through applications for broadsheets- I never got accepted. For a while I thought, I would fail. I thought, how could I have graduated when I didn't know how to write- when broadsheets cannot trust me enough.

I was sad and I was disheartened.

Until I tried to apply in RPN 9 as a writer. But Ms. Gold said, "Reporter na lang." I said no, she insisted, "Magpamake-up ka. Balik ka after."

Whatever it was, I did as she told me.

And it happened- I was a budding journalist all of a sudden.

Two years and 5 months in a sequestered station had its pros and cons. I was exposed to a real job, I covered personalities. I was there when FPJ died, I was there when he was buried. I was there when the President declared a state of national emergency. I witnessed some good historical events in my stint as a General Assignments reporter, a Congress beat reporter and a Palace reporter- all in just a span of 2 years and 5 months on the job.

But things had to happen, and I had to leave and seek greener pastures. It landed me on my dream company- where I am now.

Counting 4 years in this industry in a few months, the ride has been hell and back. I am a young journalist still and I am no pro. I consider myself an amateur. Often when I ask questions in press conferences, and am surrounded by more experienced and veteran reporters- I think that I am not an inch as good as them yet.

Yes, this industry is tainted in itself. Not everyone in this industry deserves to be here. Media practitioners have indeed fallen short of their true task, of their true calling. Often it's not about telling the story anymore, but being the story already. Often it's not anymore about the truth- but subjective truth. Not about facts, but about linkages, connections, favors and emotions.

And for some who have been eaten up by so much corruption all around- it's money that talks and writes the story.

I surrender and submit to opinions and views that industry has lost its moral ascendancy over this nation. Yes, I agree. And there will be no buts.

As a young journalist, I also admit that there are days this fact gets to me and makes me regret being on this job. The fame and the perks of being a journalist are tempting, although I believe it should not be enough to cause the total breakdown of this fourth estate.

I do not claim that I am a perfect practitioner myself, and I am not one to say that I have learned all there is to learn about this work that I do. But suffice it to say that I am working on myself, working on my values and working on my attitude.

I do not want to end up as the journalists I meet who in their old age seem to have never aged at all. They have no wisdom, but hate and insecurity. They who cannot wish well another person, but only gossip and envy.

I want to do this job for as long as I can, and as long as circumstances in my life permit me to. Like CHED Chairman Romulo Neri himself said yesterday, we all have frustrations in the jobs we have- and all of us want to quit sometimes. But emotions should never rule over us.

I am being rationale now and I am making a decision to stay while I can. Yes, the industry may not be a luxurious and noble job after all-- but it's one thing I want to do not for myself, or for the country for I am no hero.

I just want to do it, just because.

Maybe that's what all our dreams are all about.

And as Samuel Freedman himself said, amidst the controversial and tempting world of Journalism-- I shall keep my flame alive and my little idealism untarnished.